Keeper of the Fire

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ISBN: 0-9668529-0-7

Cover art by the author ©1998
Published by:

I am sending a voice to the four directions asking that the Creator hear this prayer and open humanity’s heart to the words that are written here. It is for all mankind that I am telling this story. Remember that we are all one.

Mitakuye Oyasin

This book is dedicated in loving memory to:

Patrick “Peta” Church, Jr., who told me that I had to write the book of the Warrior of Black Elk’s vision and who set me on the path for my journey of this lifetime.

Also in memory of Virginia, my mother, for giving me life.

And to Joe for bringing me the words of the Warrior of the Cave.

Just exactly where in time does any story begin? I believe that this one began many lifetimes ago, but I'll begin this one in 1990 with the crows. They followed me everywhere. They sat on the lamppost outside my office; they congregated by the hundreds in my yard. Although I shared my food with them, they never left even one feather for me until the day I met him.

"He" was an Oglala Lakota from South Dakota. His name was Peta meaning, "fire." Crow was his spirit animal and the minute you looked into his eyes you knew that you were seeing deep into the fabric of the universe.

He came into my life one sunny July day in 1991 and changed my life in ways that for which I still have no words. After I met him, I began having a series of powerful visions that eventually became the basis for the book.

Peta was dying of cancer when I met him and I spent his last year with him. During the last six months of his life, Peta became consumed with the vision of Black Elk. (Black Elk's vision came to him when he was a small boy and his “great vision” parallels the prophecies of the Buddhist's and the Old and New Testament of the bible. Black Elk saw a great warrior coming to bring the people of this planet together in peace.) Peta was sure that the warrior was coming soon and he wanted to live long enough to see him.

According to Black Elk’s vision, the "warrior" would be coming from the east and was neither a red man nor a white man. This being had long flowing hair and would be clothed in red. He told me that I had to write the book of this “warrior.” Peta spoke to me of nothing else for the last three months of his life. I tried explaining that I had not written anything serious in over twenty years, but he refused to relinquish his request of me. As the months wore on and Peta got weaker and weaker, I saw that he was not going to let go of this and that I had to at least promise him that I would try. I made the promise to him on a Thursday evening in mid-August 1992 and he returned to the ancestors two days later.

I began writing in November of 1992, having no idea that this project would totally consume my life. I have a good friend named Joe who lives in the Hocking Hills amid the burial mounds and caves of the Lakota ancestors. It is Joe who has helped lead me through this spiritual journey with the help of an Ancient Warrior who came to Joe and gave me the name, the “Storyteller.” The Warrior’s words totally changed the course of the book and every word from the Warrior is told to you just as He told them to Joe.

In Lakota legend, the story of the crow is one of great personal sacrifice for the benefit of others.

It is told that the creatures in the forest were happy and the earth was a warm and beautiful place. The crow was a magnificent bird with iridescent feathers and wings the colors of the rainbow. Its song was unsurpassed in beauty.

One day, the creatures of the forest were amazed to see white flakes falling from the sky. And the earth grew cold and the white flakes continued to fall with no end in sight. The animals gathered together in a circle and tried to keep each other warm, but the cold grew more and more bitter. They knew that they would all die if something were not done for them soon.

Crow said, "I will fly up to Grandfather Sun and ask for his help." And he flew for four whole days without stopping. He arrived at Grandfather's and he called out, “Grandfather! I have come to ask you for help."

Grandfather looked out and all around and finally saw this little bird. He said, "Little bird, I have no time for you now."

So the crow stayed and he waited, and waited. After many days passed, Grandfather looked out and saw that the little bird was still there and He was pleased with the great patience that the small bird had shown.

The crow told him of the bitter cold and the white flakes and how the animals were sure to perish. Then Grandfather handed the crow a stick with fire and told him to take it back and rub it on other sticks and it would keep the animals warm.

Crow put the stick in his beak and flew back to earth. In his excitement, he flew too fast and when he approached earth he could not slow down. And he got hotter and hotter until his beautiful feathers were seared and he was black as night.

He gave the creatures the gift from Grandfather Sun and the creatures were now warm and happy.

Crow was exhausted from his long journey, but he wanted to sing a song of thanks for the wonderful gift. He opened his mouth but his throat had been seared too and all that he could sing to Grandfather was a raspy, CAW.

He stood on the porch of his cabin gazing out at the night sky. He was tall and lean with raven black hair flowing down his back. His features, like those of his ancestors' before him, were severe. His nose was honed to a beak-like sharpness that drove your eyes directly to his gaze. He was crow, and looking into the midnight black of his eyes meant peering into the gateway to the unknown.

He was an Oglala half-breed and he had never met his white father. His mother died of alcohol poisoning when he was four and his maternal grandfather, Daniel White Feather, raised him. His Grandfather was a powerful medicine man and he had been raised to respect the traditional ways.

When he was eleven, a naming ceremony was held for him and he was given the name Petaigig Ichiwaiwanka, meaning "Keeper of the Fire". As the crow had brought fire to save the creatures of the forest, the one who carried the fire from camp to camp was responsible for the tribe’s survival through the cold winters. It was only given to one who was pure in spirit, one whose hands remained clean of killing. It was a great honor and he had accepted the name with intense pride.

The old wicker rocking chair creaked and groaned as he sat down and leaned back. He closed his eyes and saw South Dakota and the Black Hills.

The vision.... he still didn't fully understand its meaning, but he remembered it as though it were yesterday. He had only been seven years old and had been asleep in his small bed when a spirit of some sort had awakened him. The guide had led him outside and then disappeared. The vision remained clear in his mind sixteen years later as though he had seen it for the first time just minutes ago.

In the vision, he had stood in a deep valley with mountains on either side of him. The one on his right was huge and black with men and giant machines working on its face. The black mountain seemed to swallow everything that came near it. He gave it a wide berth. The mountain on the left was chalk white and rose two or three hundred feet straight up. To his amazement, he climbed it with ease. Once on top he gazed around him and saw an enormous bird. It was over six feet tall and had feathers that shimmered in the light. He walked up to the bird and it spread its wings. The inside feathers were like a wondrous rainbow: rows of purples, blues, greens, reds and yellows. Its eyes were the blue of cornflowers in the meadows. He wrapped his small arms around the wonderful creature. He could feel its powdery skin and all the tiny prickly things that were its body feathers. It smelled yeasty, like fresh bread dough set in the sun to rise. The bird enclosed him in its wings and spoke to him of the great warrior that he would some day be. He was incredulous, how could Great Spirit have all these plans for one so young? He found his voice at last and asked, "Great bird, could I please have one of your wing feathers to take back to Grandfather with me?" The bird had lowered its head and looked him directly in the eye, the gaze burning a hole in his soul, and said, "Not this time young warrior."

The bird stepped back a step and shape-shifted into a woman with long golden-orange hair and blue-beyond-blue eyes. As Peta followed her down the cliff and back into the valley below them, she showed him the earth with scorched land and trees like skeletons. The lakes and streams were dried up and there were no cities, no people and the sky was a vivid shade of purple. He turned to ask her about what he was seeing and saw that her eyes were filled with tears.

"Peta, remember this image of earth. I will return when you are older and show you your path." He stood staring as she began to shimmer and shape-shift back into the beautiful white bird. The bird then leapt into the sky and flew away leaving him standing there alone in the burned-out landscape. He had awakened crying, but had been unable to tell anyone of his vision for three months because he was afraid the earth would be destroyed like the woman had shown him.

When he finally worked up the courage to tell his grandfather about the vision, he remembered how he had listened to him with such great reverence. Grandfather told him that the vision was a powerful one for a boy so young and explained to him that what he had seen was extraordinary. His Grandfather had told him that he believed that someday he would be a great medicine man like himself.

His Grandfather had told him that many great medicine men were given powerful visions in their youth. He himself had been only thirteen when the medicine man told his parents that he was wakan and was sent to study the sacred ways of healing and journeying.

His Grandfather had worked hard to bring him up in the traditional ways of spirituality. He told Peta that he was being tested and that his journey in this lifetime would be a difficult one. He had told him that his journey in this lifetime would either destroy him or make him into a powerful medicine man, a spiritual warrior of great regard.

Peta stood up on the small porch and stretched. It was a clear dark night and he could see the Milky Way stretched out across the sky like a sparkling necklace of brilliant diamonds.

Five years ago, when he turned twenty, his Grandfather had a vision of him in the land in the east where the sun rises. He told Peta that he was to follow crow to the land of the Lakota ancestors in the east who built the Great Earth Mounds and wait for the woman of his vision.

He had wandered all through Eastern Indiana and Ohio before finally settling in the Hocking Hills of Southern Ohio six months ago. He lived in a traditional one-room log cabin with a wood-burning fireplace and stove. He drew the water he needed from the creek that ran nearby. An outhouse stood about one hundred feet out. While the front of the cabin looked out into a deep wood, the back hung over a cliff edge. He had chosen this place not only for its beauty, but also for the fact that it sat atop a ravine filled with ancient Indian caves.

One of the first things he had done was to construct a rope ladder so that he could descend the cliff walls into the cool stillness at the bottom. The prehistoric peoples who had made their homes in the deep overhangs left behind red sandstone walls resplendent with petroglyphs. He sometimes ran his fingers gently over the ancient drawings hoping to catch a glimpse of an Ancestral warrior.

Peta spent his days praying and tending to his small garden and his evenings sitting on the porch playing his flute, the soft melodies echoing in the valley below.

It was late February, the snow lay in soft white layers on the trees surrounding the cabin and Earth was deep in her winter rest. The morning sun shone softly in his face and he walked out across the fields to a conical burial mound. He laid out his buffalo robe and sat on top, listening to the ancestors. His spirit longed to see his Grandfather and the sacred Black Hills. As he sat facing the sun, he offered tobacco to the four directions, then filled his great-grandfather's chanupa. As he smoked the sacred pipe, he offered his prayers to Great Spirit. His soul could see the Black Hills of home. He saw the men and machines and he could feel their presence inside. The white man in the relentless pursuit of the yellow rock that makes men crazy was destroying the sacred hills, the Paha Sapa, from which all life sprung forth. Peta could not imagine why Great Spirit had made so much gold in the sacred hills of the Lakota. Surely He would know that it would draw the white man there in huge numbers and that the Lakota people would suffer horribly. But why? The question rolled on the wind carried by his smoke.

As he walked back to the cabin, he thought about how long winter seemed here so far from home. His visions were much stronger and sharper now. They woke him night after night. Lately the woman with the blue-beyond-blue eyes was haunting his dreams. He knew that he had to be patient. Great Spirit would show him his path when the time was right.

It was early March, and Peta sat on the front porch of the cabin playing his flute. The haunting sweet tones drifted through the still forest. The tall pines surrounding the cabin were enveloped by his music and breathed deeply of it as if remembering other more ancient melodies.

Just two days ago, the farmer whose land he lived on came by to see how he was doing. He had asked Peta if he had seen a large red-tailed hawk. He had said that the bird had come here every spring for the last three years. Chuckling, he said that he could have sworn that he saw a woman sitting on that very porch last year, but when he called to her, she disappeared.

Peta smiled to himself and played trilling bird sounds as if calling her to come again this spring.

Two weeks later as he was pulling weeds in his garden, she appeared to him. She walked slowly down the path to the cabin and all he could see was her hair in the sunlight. It hung to her waist in a cascade of red-orange like a sunset gone wild. Her entire body was encapsulated in a golden glow. He stood locked in place, his eyes burning into hers. The closer she came, the harder it was for him to keep her form solid. She was shape-shifting as she approached. She was a deer, a wolf, and finally a hawk. She flew to his side. She became woman again and smiled at him.

"I wondered how long it would take you to find this place. I've come here three springs now, looking for you".

Her eyes kept evolving from azure-blue to deep green to dark gray to crystal-clear and back again. He could see ancient beings in her eyes. Suddenly, she shifted them to a blue like that of a deep pool and he remembered her from his first vision. He saw the old vision with an amazing new clarity, only the boy was now the man he had become. She was even more beautiful than he remembered.

He reached out to touch her; he wanted her to be real this time, not a creature of the dreamtime. His trembling fingers brushed her cheek with the gentleness of a moth wing. She was indeed real.

"The name of my original spirit is Galela Kael, you may however choose to call me whatever pleases you."

Something inside him stirred and he seemed to remember other lifetimes with this being. He saw her with many faces and bodies. Hearing her name had triggered his soul memories and they washed over him like a clear mountain stream. How strange and wonderful it all seemed. All of a sudden, he heard her voice from a long distance away. His soul had leapt out of his body and soared above them. He could see her standing there below him talking and he looked out for miles over the wooded landscape.

"Please, Peta, I need for you to stay with me. I have many things I need to discuss with you and we have much work to do to prepare you for your journey. Can you please come back down here?" She waited a few seconds and then reached out and touched him gently on the arm.

He felt a powerful vacuum suck him back into his body. He blinked several times. How did she know that he was gone? He could see that he had much to learn from her.

"I have come to teach you of the stone people. They are the power tools of the ancient ones. There is much knowledge that was taken away from the earth beings, as they did not use the power wisely. The power that you will be taught to channel must always be used from your heart, and only out of love. I tell you this now, because you will think of all the wrongs done you and your people that you could avenge. And if you choose to act out of anger instead of love, the power will turn on you and devour your soul.

"You will be as the crow of legend. You will sacrifice much for your people. What you will do will have far-reaching consequences, the end result of which you may never live to see."

As she spoke, he could feel his spine stiffen in fear and feel the void breathing its cold breath down his neck. He closed his eyes and tried to make it go away...her voice suddenly seemed to be coming to him from a vast distance...

"We have been sending warriors to your people for centuries. Each one chooses what mission he will try to carry out. Many fail. It is very difficult to come through the layers of energy down to the physical plane. Some get lost and never remember why they came; others really aren't adequately prepared and their souls never make it into incarnation. They end up as miscarriages and still-borns.

"These things are neither good nor bad. They simply are. If a soul doesn't or can't fulfill its purpose in one lifetime, there will be others. It's like the sacred hoop. We are all in the process of becoming."

The realization hit him that hours had passed, the sun was casting its pale orange glow all around them and yet he continued to cling to her words. He had not eaten all day, and he suddenly was aware of the deep rumblings emanating from his hollow abdomen.

She stopped mid-sentence and smiled. "It has gotten late, hasn't it? Please go and fix yourself something to eat. I have a few things to tend to and I'll be back." She turned from him and then, as a large hawk, flew away.

He stood in front of the stove unable to focus on preparing himself food, staring at something deep inside. The images teased him keeping themselves just beyond his reach. A prayer escaped his lips as he asked the spirits to guide him to this place inside.

In the blink of an eye he was gone. He found himself standing on an outcropping of deep blue rocks, staring into a bright orange sky. He could see several large planets orbiting the one he was standing on and as he turned, he found himself basking in the glow of twin suns. He voiced his amazement and found the deep resonance of his native Lakota replaced by a soft lilting language full of vowel sounds. Like her name, he thought. As he walked the blue hills, others who knew him greeted him. They all wore soft flowing fabrics that blew gently in the warm breeze.

She entered the cabin and saw him standing at the stove; nothing had been done in the way of food being prepared. She called his name and received no answer.

She walked over to him, intending to bring him back. But gazing into his serene face, she knew that he was home for the first time in so very long. She took his hand gently in hers and led him across the room to his bed. She laid him down and cradled his head in her lap, waiting for his soul to complete its journey. He came back slowly. She saw his eyes come to a new way of seeing, of looking far beyond this dimension. "You rest for a few moments. I'll fix you something to eat."

Galela Kael...her name floated across the dimensions. She was a part of that place where he had journeyed. He could still feel the warmth of her hands on his face.

He ate slowly, savoring the deer stew she had heated up, as though it was his first ever taste of food.

He looked at her with new eyes. Her eyes...the eyes of the beings on the planet where he had gone...they never stayed one color. They were in constant metamorphosis incorporating all the lifetimes that that soul had ever known.

Peta was too exhausted to even tell her of his journey and fell immediately into a sound sleep. She removed the bowl from his hand, repositioned his body to a more comfortable one, covered him with a quilt and then stepped through the door and flew away.

Peta awakened and stretched. His entire being seemed new to him heightened to a sense of knowing that far surpassed any of his teachings to date. He swung his feet to the floor and felt the pine planks beneath them. The wooden boards seemed alive; as if remembering the tree they had been a part of. He could feel the energy coursing through their woody fibers. He stared at his hands, turning them over several times. He saw his body was no more than a suit of clothing put on to house his marvelous spirit.

He was ravenous. He threw three eggs in his cast iron skillet and fried them. He prepared a small plate for the spirits and took it outside giving thanks for his bountiful blessings. He ate slowly, still thinking of last night's journey. And her. He was sipping strong black coffee when she walked in.

She smiled as their eyes met. He offered to cook her some breakfast but she declined, preferring to sip delicately on the fresh peach in her hand.

Nothing she did was hurried. The ebb and flow of time stretched and contracted to accommodate her needs. He watched her with keen interest.

She strode ahead of him on the narrow trail, her slender body cutting through the early morning fog like a machete. Watching her made him think of the force that drove the universe. It was not a male power; he was convinced of that.

He watched as she grabbed hold of the rope ladder and swung herself expertly over the rocky ledge.

As he descended, the air grew cooler and the smell of earth assailed his senses. It was intoxicating to him, like going back to the womb of the beginning of time. Every time he climbed down to the cave floor he knew why earth was named "Mother." Not only did all life spring from her loins, but also she smelled of woman: warm, moist and musky. He inhaled deeply, drawing her scent into the core of his being.

She reached the bottom first and started straight toward the cave entrance. The actual opening was hidden from view, but she knew its whereabouts with the clarity of one who had been there many times before.

Just as his feet touched the sandstone floor, the sweet smell of burning sage and sweetgrass wafted towards him and he could see her fanning the smoke into the entrance.

She waited for him before stepping inside and he could feel the cool rush of the cave's breath on his face. She laid her leather pouch beside the wall and ran her fingers along the cave paintings as he always did. For some unknown reason this ritual of touching them seemed to be a prerequisite for admission into the cave. Somewhere deep inside he knew that there was a deep spiritual need to link their souls with those of the ancestors.

He could feel the presence of the Ancestral Lakota warriors stronger than ever before. It was as though her fingers were stirring up the old ones who had drawn the petroglyphs on the cave walls millennia ago. Shadowy figures danced in his peripheral vision. Yet each time he glanced directly toward them, they vanished.

"You sit there." She pointed to a central position on the cave's floor. "I want you to concentrate on grounding yourself. It is a simple process, just imagine that your spine is the taproot of a very old tree and allow yourself to reach deep into the Earth. This will help you keep your energy focused on the task at hand. Now watch what I do carefully, for tomorrow it will be your turn."

She drew a large circle on the cave floor enclosing both of them. "Remember that the circle is the most powerful configuration because it is complete. It enfolds upon itself like our lifetimes continue one into the other."

He watched as she smudged the inside of the circle, then offered tobacco to the four directions, then sky and earth. She reached inside her pouch and withdrew a three-inch clear quartz crystal. She prayed softly and offered it to the four directions, then the sky and the earth. She touched the crystal to her forehead, closed her eyes for a brief instant, lowered it to her mouth and blew into it. She then placed it standing up at the western point on the circle. She repeated the process three more times, placing each crystal clockwise in turn: north, then east and finally south.

She sat down facing him. "Now start taking deep breaths. As you breathe in, I want you to feel the energy of the universe coming in through the top of your head. See it as a golden light. As you exhale, blow out all fear and negativity so that you can fill yourself with this energy."

He felt the pulse and flow of the energy entering his body until it filled him to overflowing and spilled out into the cave. He could feel his body begin to glow and his soul expand into the earth, filling it with his energy. With each exhale, he breathed out golden light. The cave walls began to shimmer, illuminated by thousands of tiny sundogs. His body pulsed and coalesced into a sphere of luminous energy.

He felt an explosion taking place in his soul, bringing him to a new state of awareness. He started praying, and soon the prayer became a song.

"Ho, Wakan Tanka
Tunkasila
I’m sending a voice
I ask that you look down on this warrior
see me walking Your path
hear this warrior's voice
as he calls to You
hear the voice that I’m sending
for all my relations. Ho.”

His voice filled the cave and the sandstone walls sang with him. He could hear the voices of the ancestors singing in their native tongues, long forgotten voices raised in spiritual oneness with this young warrior.

For a moment, he was ageless. He was a dying old man, a child running at its mother's side, a pregnant woman and the child she carried in her womb. He reveled in amazement; he was every man who had ever walked on this planet in joy and in sorrow. One. One dynamic organism. All creatures, all plants, all peoples. One living, breathing, single entity.

He heard her voice singing in the lilting tones of her planet's language. He could hear the rocks and trees join in and soon the whole valley was of one voice.

Peta's voice finally fell silent, but his song continued on the breeze. It faded slowly as it drifted through the cave valley to the forest above.

"You have done well. Allow the energy to dissipate slowly and keep yourself grounded."

"Now watch as I remove the stones one at a time and in the exact opposite direction that they were laid down." As she spoke, she placed the crystals into her pouch and the cave's walls dimmed.

He stood up and took notice that she had left the circle intact and placed a small tobacco offering in the center for the spirits of the ancestors.

He walked outside and stood beside a trickling stream. There were hundreds of minnows swimming in its clear water. He felt what it was to be a fish. The cool water washed over his gill slits and he felt them draw in oxygen from the water. The minnows came close to the surface and mouthed his song from the cave.

She came up beside him and took his hand as they walked back to the rope ladder.

"Galela, I wish to call you Little Hawk, for that is what I see when I look into your eyes. Will that be all right with you?"

"Little Hawk," he asked, "what is it that I am being prepared to do? You have told me nothing of the journey or ‘mission’ as you call it."

"Peta, it is not for me to tell you what to do. Each soul comes to this planet to work on fulfilling its destiny. Each soul struggles with the karmic debts of other lifetimes. Each of us chooses what lessons we will learn in each lifetime, but these lessons do not come easily. You must be carried by the strength of your visions and your love for your people. I will tell you this though, you will be forced to face your shadow and the battle within will be greater than any physical war. You will come away like crow, changed forever."

Her words sent cold chills up his spine. Never before in his twenty-five years had anything struck such a chord of terror in him.

Little Hawk stood back and allowed him to start up the ladder ahead of her. She didn't want him to see the tears welling up in her eyes. He was so very young and gentle. Would the power break him as it had so many others? A part of her wanted to stop his training now and tell him it was all a dream. Another part wanted to hold him and tell him she'd stay with him, guide him so he wouldn't get lost. Something deep inside her stirred when she was with him, and she found it increasingly difficult to maintain her distance. Choosing to be a teacher was not an easy task; she suffered with all of the souls she guided. But she also realized that this was all a part of her journey, for there was always another lesson to be mastered whether you were the student or the teacher.

They walked back to the cabin in silence; each lost in their own thoughts. Neither one was ready or willing to share their fears with the other.

He took one step up onto the porch and turned to her, "Will you go back to South Dakota with me?" His eyes looked sad for the first time since her arrival.

"If only I could. But it is not permitted. I must teach you only what I was told to and then leave you to continue your journey." She couldn't bear to look into his eyes when she said these words, his pain was too visible and it tore at her heart.

"This is not easy for me either. When I come to this planet, I must become physical, human like you. Only I know what I came here to do, and that I will only be here for a very short time. It will only hurt you more if you try to keep me here with you. You and I will say good-bye in a couple of days, and we both must go on to fulfill our separate destinies.

"Peta, you must follow the wisdom of your heart. You must follow your path alone as those before you have done. Goodnight." And with that she left him standing alone on the porch.

Hours passed as he tossed and turned. His bed seemed full of rocks; he could find no comfortable position. Each time he would start to doze off, his body would jerk wildly and awaken him. It was as though his spirit knew what his conscious mind did not want to believe and each time his spirit took flight into the dreamworld, his mind brought it back again. The battle raged on for hours, until in the wee hours of the morning, he finally fell exhausted into a deep sleep.

He dreamed that dark, faceless people were chasing him. They were after some crystal that they said he had. He kept running and trying to hide from them, but they always found him. "Where is it?” they shouted at him. He kept telling them that he did not know what they wanted, but no one believed him. He saw many crystals lying around him and tried to get them to take one of them, anything to make them go away. But none of these were the crystal that they wanted.

Suddenly he was back in the cabin, awake. He sat up and reached for the lamp on the table next to the bed, but the minute that he extended his right hand, a beam of energy shot out of it knocking the light off onto the floor. He kept trying in vain to pick it up, but each time he reached out his hand, it scooted across the floor propelled by some mystical force. No matter what he did, he could not stop the energy that spewed forth. He finally collapsed on the floor, tears of frustration filling his eyes. "I can't stop it, I can't stop it!” he cried over and over.

In a sudden flash of light, reality intruded. He snapped back to full consciousness. Sitting up instantly in bed, he looked to his right and saw the lamp sitting on the table just where it always had been. But, he thought, I've been awake once already, haven't I? He was trembling so badly that his teeth were chattering. Small rivulets of sweat ran down his spine. His eyes were wide with terror and he clutched his right hand tightly against his body, terrified that if he reached for even the smallest thing, it would go flying off across the room just like in the dream.

He felt that the darkness would swallow him if he didn't chase it away. He had never felt alone like this before. He suddenly saw his future as something that could devour him without even thinking twice. He wanted to go home. He no longer wanted to be this spiritual warrior. He sat on his bed hugging his knees to his chest like a small child.

Little Hawk could sense his anguish, and she fought the urge to go to him. He had to face his fears alone. She was not supposed to interfere. If she stepped in, he would be useless to himself and his people. As his teacher, she came to give him a sacred gift and then move on, beyond that she knew nothing. The future was determined second by second, each second bringing changes that affected every succeeding second and so on. Even the tiniest event rippled through the thin veil of time and changed everyone's future in a constant progression of transformation. In this continuity of time, no one's future was ever static or predictable.

She waited until the sun was up and went in to him. He had not moved. She sat beside him and placed her arm around his shoulders. He looked so fragile but the fire was still there in his eyes. He would be all right.

"Peta, you must face this fear. Your future will be what you choose to make of it. No one can force you to do what you do not wish to do. I told you before that there is no failure, only learning. It is merely a process. It is frightening only if you choose to allow it to be so."

Her words were getting through; he saw that she spoke the truth. No one else controlled his future. He could feel the fear slowly release its grip on his soul.

"Get cleaned up and we'll rest this morning. I have only a couple more things to teach you."

He stood up and faced her. "No, I don't need to rest. I'm all right, please continue with what you have to teach me."

"All right then, let’s start with cleansing and clearing the crystals. After each use you must erase them, in a matter of speaking. Much care must be taken to cleanse them and recharge them properly. The method I would recommend to you is to place them in a clear stream for several hours and then dry them in the sun. Keep them in a safe place and do not let others handle them. I have already cleansed them this morning and they are on the porch rail drying in the sun. Let's go back down to the cave."

Peta and Little Hawk once again stood facing one another inside the circle in the cave. She bent down and laid the bag of crystals at his feet.

"When you use the crystals, you need to let them know what it is you want them to help you do. This is called ‘programming.’

“Do you remember how I held them to my forehead? What you must do is close your eyes and see with your spirit what it is that you wish to manifest. Keeping that image clear in your mind, place the crystal to your third eye. It's right there."

She placed her finger on a spot directly in the middle of his forehead about an inch above his eyebrows. "Imagine that image inside the crystal; feel free to use words if you need to. Then blow into the crystal to seal in the energy of your thought. This must be done each time you use them. Now think of something you could use that would help you on your spiritual journey. You will manifest this today."

Peta was lost in thought for several moments, then he said, "I know what I wish to manifest."

He did exactly as she had done the day before. Once the crystals were in place, he sat down and did his grounding and breathing in of the light.

As she watched him, she reached inside the bodice of her dress and withdrew a rolled-up rabbit skin. Gently, she laid it in the ground and unwrapped its contents. It was a large clear crystal. It was nine and a half inches long and seven inches around.

"This is a very special crystal, if you look inside it you will see a crystal dolphin leaping. It is a very special crystal and no one will ever find another like it. The dolphin is the most ancient symbol for life on this planet. The dolphin is the keeper of the sacred breath of life and speaks directly to the Great Spirit of the progress of the beings of this small blue planet. The one who possesses this crystal speaks directly to the Creator. It is known simply as the Life Crystal. I’ve been its guardian for many centuries and it is now my gift to you."

She placed it in his hands. He held it tenderly, gazing into its interior. The dolphin that she spoke of was around two-and-a-half inches long, facing the point of the crystal with its back arched as though it was ready to leap into the world outside. Its body was shiny like silver, but as you turned the crystal, the dolphin danced in the light reflecting back rainbows like a prism. It was incredibly beautiful.

"You will use this crystal to draw the power from the others in the circle around you. When you fill yourself with light, send the light into this crystal. Image what you wish to manifest and keep the energy flowing into the Life Crystal, it will do the rest. You will feel a surge in your energy field, and you may experience a ringing in your ears. This is normal, just remember to stay grounded and you'll be fine."

Peta held the Life Crystal in his open palms. Light began to fill the cave, dancing on the walls. A golden ball of light replaced his body. A rainbow stretched across the cave arching up to its roof. His golden aura grew until the cave could no longer contain it and streams of gold threaded their way through the sandstone walls to the forest above.

Little Hawk found herself lifted bodily off the cave floor and soared amid hundreds of smaller rainbows. Several moments passed and the light began to recede slowly. She floated gently back down to the circle. She watched as his physical body slowly re-materialized.

He was still glowing softly when he looked down into his lap. He let out a shriek of pure joy. "Look!" he said, "he finally gave it to me." And there in his lap was the rainbow-colored wing feather from the spirit bird of his first vision!

She sat there, completely shocked. She had expected something small and simple from this dimension. He had crossed boundaries that even the most experienced travelers thought twice about. And he brought into physical manifestation something that existed only in the spirit world, the dreamtime.

He lifted his gaze to meet hers; "I have waited eighteen years for this feather."

While she sat lost in thought, he picked up all the crystals and placed them in the pouch. He placed the strap around his neck, stepped outside the cave, shape-shifted to crow and flew back to the cabin.

She stood with her mouth open, staring at the huge crow winging its way above her. Once she regained her equilibrium, hawk joined crow for a romp in the summer sky.

Little Hawk tied the spirit bird’s feather in Peta's hair. They sat laughing and splashing each other while the crystals sparkled in the swiftly flowing stream that ran next to the cabin. The clear water cascaded over the cliff's edge, tossing tiny sundogs into the late afternoon sky.

"You'll be leaving soon, won't you?" It was more a statement of fact than a question. He already knew what her answer would be.

" My job here is finished and you must now wait for the next teacher who will come to you. He will finish preparing you for your journey."

"He is an ancient warrior who has been called upon to help you see the mission ahead of you more clearly. He will give you the details that I cannot."

Her body shimmered in the glow of the afternoon sun as she slowly walked away from him. At the edge of the woods, she turned and gazed at him one last time, then shape-shifted into hawk and disappeared into the deep blue sky.

He sat beside the waterfall for hours, gazing in the direction that she had flown. Finally, resigning himself to the fact that she was really gone, he prepared a light supper and then spent the evening sitting on the porch playing his flute.

As darkness again swallowed the forest, he went inside the cabin and lit the lantern beside his bed. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he picked up the Life Crystal, holding it up to the light watching the flickering yellow flame as it created a soft sunset sea for the dolphin within.

Wrapping the crystal safely back inside the rabbit skin, he put it away with the others and then went to bed.

He awakened the next morning refreshed, having slept peacefully through the night.

Later that afternoon he decided to go for a long walk. He walked many miles from the cabin and the landscape of steep cave walls suddenly gave way to a broad expanse of green meadow surrounded by a deep wood. From the woods on his left, a man approached him on horseback. The horse was a huge black stallion with gray spots and had three long feathers tied into its mane. The rider was a young male with long black hair to his waist that billowed out behind him. The rider's features were finely sculpted and his eyes were wise beyond his years. At first Peta thought that the red stripes on the warrior's cheeks were some sort of paint. But as the rider drew nearer to him, he realized that they were tears of blood and each one took its own distinct course down his bronzed face, creating red stripes as they wove their way to his chin. Each time a bloody tear dropped from his face, his right hand would reach up gently and catch it, never missing a one. As he reigned in his mount, coming to a halt in front of Peta, he closed his right hand caressing the tears and when he re-opened it, he was holding a handful of seeds. He then raised his opened hand and the wind rushed to his aid, carrying the seeds far and wide. Everywhere a seed hit the earth, a grove of oak trees sprang forth. His voice was like a powerful wind as he spoke to Peta.

"These oak groves shall stand as the protectors of the truth. Only one being can retrieve them from the sacred oaks. He has walked among you before and shall walk among you again. You and I shall meet again." The rider turned and rode back into the woods.

It was late evening when Peta arrived back at the cabin. Something was pulling him to go back down to the cave. The energy grew stronger and stronger until he could no longer resist its hypnotic pull. He picked up his pipe and a handful of sage. He walked along the rim trail, then climbed down the rope ladder entering the cave and seated himself within the circle that Little Hawk had drawn in the earth two days before.

As the sun set across the valley behind him, he lit a ball of sage, inhaling the smoke deeply as he fanned it over himself and the entire inside of the circle. His grandfather's pipe lay on its bag in front of him. Picking it up, he held it over his head and asked for the spirits to protect him through the long night ahead.

The darkness descended and wrapped itself around him like a thick blanket. Many hours passed and he thought he heard voices coming from deep inside the cave. Instinctively turning in the direction of the sounds, he saw nothing. The voices became louder as they came closer to where he was sitting. Suddenly, he realized that they were coming straight toward him and he jumped sideways to avoid being hit. He found himself completely surrounded by the spirit voices and he could feel their soft, diaphanous bodies brush gently against him. Sensing that they meant him no harm, he was strangely comforted by their presence. The voices began a rhythmic chant and he felt himself being lulled into a deep sleep. He struggled to maintain consciousness, forcing his eyelids to open against their will, but to no avail. He was soon engulfed by the spirits and carried gently into their world.

Peta awakened to find himself sitting deep within a bright yellow sandstone cave, the mouth of which opened out of a sheer cliff face fifty feet off a valley floor. The sun was shining brightly and in front of him stood a tall Native American male, his long black hair flowing down his back. He was dressed in soft, cream-colored leggings and a breechcloth woven in intricate designs of deep purples and greens. On his head was a six-foot long ceremonial headdress made with feathers in all the colors of the rainbow that hung down his back and gently brushed against the soft sand of the cave floor. In his right hand he held a three-foot long peace pipe and smoke streamed from the red pipestone buffalo carved into a bowl. Three eagle feathers hung from the pipe and he turned to face Peta, gesturing with the pipe, indicating for Peta to join him.

Peta walked forward and sat down where the Warrior pointed. As he looked into the young warrior's eyes he realized that this was the same man he had seen ride out of the woods that afternoon.

"Peta, you have been chosen to sit in on the council fire here and it is important that you listen carefully as you will be carrying this message back to your people."

"May I ask you a question?” Peta's voice came out in a barely audible whisper and he cleared his dry throat. "Why me?"

"Because you are pure of heart. You walk on earth with the knowledge that she is your Mother and she is alive. You are one of us. You have stood right here on this very spot before as a shaman and led your people wisely. You will know all of this soon. You will see all that was and all that must be. It will make you sad as it does me, but it is our mission to bring the message of Earth to the people of this planet. Now you must calm your heart and watch. The others will be joining us any moment now."

Thoroughly entranced, Peta watched as the Warrior gestured once again with the pipe stem and the Sun instantly disappeared and the sky above became dark and full of stars. The warrior gestured again and three fires sprang to life, one in front of him and one to either side.

Again Peta heard the spirit voices, deep and rich in their melodious tones. This time, though, Twelve Tribal Chiefs approached and took their places in front of the tall one. The Warrior greeted each one in turn and thanked them for coming. The Chiefs were all dressed in their finest ceremonial robes and feather headdresses. As each took his place in front of the Warrior, they looked to each other with expressions of deep concern on their faces. This was obviously not a social gathering and the Chiefs nervously fingered their beads and pipes.

The Warrior took several steps backwards so that he was standing next to Peta again before he commenced speaking.

"You all know why I have called you here. The destruction of mankind is imminent and I have asked that the spirits show you the future." He gestured skyward with the stem of his pipe, his body standing rigid against the onslaught that was to come.

His words began to echo in the back of the cave, repeating again and again, "Spirits, join us now!" The simple phrase gathered force until it became a thundering roar that shook the trees in the valley below.

The roar became a fierce wind that drove the Chiefs to cling desperately to one another for fear of being blown off the ledge on which they were sitting. The Warrior stood resolute and unmoving against the gale.

Peta huddled against a huge rock, unable to withdraw his gaze from a single point in the sky.

The clear black dome above had suddenly split as if it were a stage curtain being drawn open. A brilliant violet light pierced the night sky, temporarily blinding those below. Peta could just make out the silhouetted figures of four men on horseback, charging out of the heavens directly towards the small group.

The winds became a shrieking, howling four-headed monster bent on total destruction. Ever closer the dark riders came until Peta could see the papery pretense that could never be called skin and the fires that burned in their eyes. They were dressed in some ancient metal battle garb all rusted and tarnished, brandishing huge bloody battle-axes.

One of them reigned in his steed and stopped less than a foot in front of Peta. The hot breath of the horse and its rider, both of which reeked with the smell of rotting flesh, immediately assailed Peta’s senses. He found himself unconsciously backing away.

"Do not waste my time with your pitiful gestures! You will see what I came here to show you!" The bony skeleton of a hand shot out and pointed back to the sky.

As Peta's gaze followed the finger, he looked up to see that the sky had now become a broad green meadow. The sun is once again shining and he can see hundreds of children playing.

Without warning, huge mushroom clouds started forming in front of him. He screamed to the children playing, but the atomic bombs kept exploding for as far as the eye could see. When the nuclear holocaust had finally passed he could see the children again, now sitting very still in neat little rows, their empty eye sockets staring at him, blood running down their faces like tears. To the left of him, a sixteen-foot high razor-wire fence held back the mothers of the children, as they wailed and screamed for their babies. To his right, hundreds of thousands of men's dead bodies were stacked up like cordwood. Peta covered his ears and closed his eyes to shut out the horror, but the hideous images were seared into his brain and he could not bear to look up toward the sky again.

The smell of hot, fetid breath brought him back to the cave and he looked up to find himself once again staring into the flaming eyes of the grisly apparition.

Peta could no longer hide the tears welling up in his eyes, and the fiery-eyed monster grinned obscenely down at him.

The Warrior's voice abruptly broke through, "Be gone! You have done what you came to do!" As his words reached Peta's ears, the small group was again buffeted by gale force winds and the four harbingers of doom were whisked back from whence they came.

Peta gazed up into the eyes of the warrior and found them filled with sadness. He could see all the suffering and anguish that mankind had brought upon itself reflected in the young warriors' eyes.

The Warrior once again pointed his pipe skyward, only this time when the sky opened it brought a gentle summer breeze, and on it, two warriors of the northwest plains. The old Chiefs gasped as they were introduced first to Crazy Horse and then Chief Joseph.

Peta leaned forward in order to peer around the tall Warrior and see these legendary leaders. His heart pounded as he looked up at the one called Crazy Horse. He was incredibly beautiful; his features so fine and delicate, so strikingly chiseled that he could have been Michaelangelo's David. His long hair curled gently about his neck to just below his shoulders and it was not black as the others, but a soft, warm dark brown. His eyes were ebony and his skin golden. Peta found himself unable to release his eyes’ lock on the legendary leader. However, when Crazy Horse turned to face him returning his gaze, he recoiled in horror; Crazy Horse's eyes were unlike any that he had ever seen before. It was like looking into the eyes of God.

Still shaking, Peta re-focused his attention back to the Warrior who had already continued speaking to the chiefs.

".......and we thank these great leaders for bringing their wisdom and presence to this meeting. The purpose of this gathering is to reveal to you, the trusted ones," the Warrior gestured to the men at his feet, "the absolute truths of life. There are many that are not ready for these truths and you must not reveal any of this to them. Their hearts are sick and they have the evil in their eyes. I have heard this on the wind and seen it in the streams. I have sent this sacred knowledge to the four winds and it can only be called upon when the time is right."

He reached into a sheath on his right hip and withdrew a hunting knife. Taking it into his left hand, he drew the blade across his right palm and held it up so that all could witness the blood dripping from his wrist to the sandy ground below. "This blood is as pure as the land once was and will be again; it is not our time or in our powers to have it as it was now." He gently placed the knife back in its sheath and then with a wipe of his left hand across the right palm, the gaping wound was sealed.

"Not even this magic is not strong enough to right the wrongs done to Earth by mankind.

"I will now reveal to you the first three of the Truths that you must take back to your people. You must keep the Truths alive during the time of great darkness, so that when the sun shines again on this planet, mankind will be ready to walk in the light."

"I will now give to you the First and Greatest Truth. It is because man cannot see this that he has destroyed his world and all the creatures and trees, even the air he breathes." He gestured with his pipe and the inside of the cave became a broad, green meadow. He looked back at the men and spoke softly and slowly.

"Look at the stars, look at the grass
See the trees, see the sand
There is enough for everybody
It is yours, it is mine, it is everybody's
No one can own it, it belongs to all."

The Warrior stood very quietly for several minutes allowing the men to absorb the words that he had just spoken. And then he continued on, "The Second Truth is something that man knows scientifically, but refuses to see with his heart. We are all made from the same energy and can neither be created nor destroyed.

"I am a man, you are a man
That is a tree, that is a rock.
There is a deer, there is a snake.
We all live here, this is our place
We are all the same there is no difference
The rock is the same as you,
Always remember that it deserves the same respect.
You can't create anything that isn't already here."

Pausing again, he watched as the men nodded and spoke to one another in agreement with the words he had just spoken.

"The Third Truth is something that the white man has never known and our people have almost all but forgotten. This one will be the hardest for mankind to believe and to practice. Man has forgotten his soul and lives only for his own body's pleasures.

"If I had two horses and you had none,
I would give you one.
If you were hungry and I had food
I would feed you,
If I had a warm place and you were cold,
I would welcome you.
Kindness is easy, to share is sacred.
I would give to you what you need.
But never take what you don't need.
You can't wear two hats or ride two horses.
Live simply and be true to your heart."

The Warrior sat down in front of the Chiefs and drew deeply on the pipe in his hand. He then handed it to Chief Joseph who did the same and passed it on to the next man.

When the pipe reached one of the oldest Chiefs, Two Moons, he looked into the fierce eyes of the Warrior and asked, "Warrior, your pipe has only three feathers, not four for the four directions. May I ask why this is?"

The Warrior looked into the eyes of all the Chiefs before speaking. "Because the east where the sun is born is no longer sacred. Too much evil has come from the east."

A blinding blue light began to emanate from the Warrior as he stood there speaking and Peta found himself struggling to hear his voice. Squinting, he finally had to cover his eyes with his arm to shield them from the glaring brilliance. The light became a searing heat and he rolled away from it.

"OW!” he cried. Peta opened his eyes and was back inside the circle and the sun was at midday. His throat was parched and he was exhausted. He returned to the cabin and consumed a quart of cool water before collapsing into a deep sleep. He dreamed that he was a large bird and was flying across the continent of North America. Everywhere he looked the cities were abandoned, cars were left to rust wherever they ran out of gas, and he could only find small bands of people wandering on foot. The once lush forests were now brown and filled with dead or dying trees. The air was so filled with pollution that it reeked of poisonous toxins, the streams were all dry and cracked, and where mighty rivers once flowed only a trickle of water remained.

It was early the next morning when he was startled awake by the intrusive tapping of a woodpecker on the side of the log cabin. He peered out of the window and smiled when he saw the clear, blue sky instead of the horrors of his dream.

Standing up, he pulled on a pair of shorts and walked out the door to the outhouse. On the way back to the cabin, he heard a horse approaching from the west. The Warrior of the vision was riding straight toward him.

"Hello again, Peta. I have only a few more things to tell you and then I'll leave you to your journey."

The Warrior stepped down and left the stallion to graze, motioning for Peta to follow him along the rim trail that ran along the top of the caves. Coming to a point that looked out over the valley floor, he sat down and motioned for Peta to do the same. Removing his pipe from its ornate beaded bag, he lit it and offered it to Peta. Peta drew in the smoke and watched as the valley below him was instantly filled with a village of native peoples.

The Warrior gazed at Peta and spoke of the old ones whose spirits still lived in the valley. "You were once the tribal shaman here. You have not lived here for 10,000 full moons, but your spirit knew that once it returned to this place all would be right again. Your power has protected this valley all this time. There is one that you must face again in this lifetime, one who tried to destroy your power many times in the past. Be very careful, he can feel that you have taken your power back from this place and he will be looking for you again in this lifetime. He will do his best to destroy you and steal your visions and power. No matter what happens, you must keep the Life Crystal safe at all costs. Even if it means giving up your life."

"Good. Peta, I can feel your concern for your future, but you must not let that deter you from your path. You must concentrate on bringing all peoples' hearts into unity so that mankind can once again walk in peace. It is now time for you to return home for there is another who awaits you there."

Peta stood staring at the tall one, uncertain as to what he could possibly say after the revelations of the last few minutes. "I will try with all my heart to do what you have asked of me."

"Of that I have never had any doubt. Be well, young one." The warrior shape-shifted into a huge eagle and flew off in the direction of the cabin, leaving Peta to walk back alone, pondering the weight of the decision he had just made.

Peta had his truck packed by midnight and he walked to the rope ladder, descending down to the cave one last time. Taking a branch, he erased the circle in the cave floor. Running his hands over the petroglyphs one last time, he bid the ancient warriors good-bye.

The moon was full and bright as he drove toward the west. He was finally going home. A vague sense of unease settled over him as he realized that whatever his "fate" was, it was sitting somewhere waiting for him. He could almost feel its warm breath on his neck. He tried to shake the feeling, but couldn't.

The states rolled by in a blur, like he was trapped inside a video game where the background just went round and round. Thirteen hours later, he started dozing off behind the wheel and pulled into a truck stop somewhere in Iowa.

With his rolled-up jacket as a pillow, he curled up on the truck seat. He fell instantly into a deep sleep.

A tall spirit that motioned for him to follow him awakened him. Peta followed in silence for what seemed like hours, stumbling in almost total darkness until the guide suddenly stopped and pointed a slender glowing finger into the pitch-blackness. Walking blindly where the spirit pointed, he fell off a sheer cliff face and awakened screaming.

He crawled wearily out of the truck and went inside the restaurant to grab a cup of strong coffee and throw some cold water on his face.

Exhausted, he drove the next eleven hours without stopping for a rest, pulling into his grandfather’s yard a little after three the next morning. In a state of total fatigue, he collapsed on the truck's seat and fell into a deep sleep.

He dreamed he was standing on top of a high flat mountain. It was dark and he had no sense of direction. He wandered aimlessly for what seemed like hours and finally saw the tall being of last night's dream walking toward him. This "person" was in a white robe and his only his face was exposed. Not that you could call it a face, there were no recognizable features and it glowed brightly in the dim light. The being motioned for him to follow again and Peta did. They came to a steep cliff edge and Peta looked down. There, a good mile or so below, was a swift flowing river. Just as he started to take a step backwards, the tall being flung him off the edge and he fell screaming into the abyss.

Peta rolled off the seat and hit the truck floor with a thud. He came back to reality with a sharp snap. The nightmare of the day before seemed to have decided to stay.

He crawled back onto the seat, shaking and sweating. He tried to doze off again but all his subconscious could muster was a few quick minutes here and there. It was only an hour later when a sharp rapping on the driver’s window awakened him. He struggled towards consciousness and saw his grandfather smiling broadly at him.

"I had a dream that you were on your way back. Come inside and rest for a while, then I want to hear everything." Daniel held the car door open for the exhausted boy.

Peta stumbled into the small frame building that was his boyhood home. He walked straight for his old room, found it just as he left it, and fell into bed. He was asleep before his head even touched the pillow. Daniel covered him with a thin blanket and quietly walked out of the room.

When Peta awoke, he was fuzzyheaded and went directly to the stove for some of his grandfather's strong coffee. He stumbled outside onto the porch and stretched, looking out at the landscape. Home. He was really home. He stepped down into the dust and weeds that surrounded the old frame dwelling. He turned slowly, drinking in the rugged terrain. A cloud of dust headed toward him and he could see his old red truck with Daniel at the wheel, bearing down on the house.

As Daniel braked to a stop, a cloud of dust momentarily obliterated the truck from view and then was carried off by the wind. Daniel stepped out of the truck, his arms filled with sacks of groceries.

"So you finally decided to wake up. This is good. I will cook and you will tell me all about your journey east." Daniel handed Peta two of the bags of groceries while he kept a steady stream of questions going.

"There is so much to tell you. When hawk came to me, it was the woman of my first vision; her name is Little Hawk. She came to teach me all about the sacred stone people. I will show them to you later."

When he told Daniel of the spirit who came for him the past two nights and made him walk off the ledge, Daniel spoke gently to the boy. "You are being told that you must be ready to step off into the void when the spirits ask you to. The next time he comes for you, step off willingly with no fear and you will find that this test is over."

"Peta, you have already been chosen for some higher purpose and are being tested to see if you are spiritually ready to handle what will be required of you. It is a great honor. After the spirit comes for you again and you face the test with no fear, I will prepare the sweat lodge at Bear Butte and you will fast and pray for a clear vision of what your path is to be in this lifetime."

It was only two nights later that the spirit came for him again and this time as they approached the ledge, Peta was ready. He looked at the spirit and smiled as he stepped forward with no fear. The ground disappeared beneath his feet but his body stayed afloat in midair. A golden bridge of light now extended across the ravine and he could see the landscape beneath him with great clarity. He was in the Badlands! He turned back to face the spirit guide only to find that he was gone. But a deep voice echoed through the hills, "You have done well, young warrior."

The next day Daniel and Peta prepared the inipi at the foot of Bear Butte. The sweat lodge was a small dome-shaped structure made out of saplings tied together. It was about the size and height of a three-man tent. It was covered with blankets and a pile of red-glowing rocks rested in a fire just outside of the opening flap.

Daniel crouched low and crawled inside and Peta followed without a word. They sat facing each other as Chief running Elk’s son, Eric Brave Warrior, placed the heated rocks in the center pit of the inipi with an old rusted pitchfork. The floor of the structure was covered with sage and Peta picked up a few leaves and pressed them to his nose, inhaling deeply. The door flap was closed and they were left in almost total darkness. Brave Warrior sat just outside drumming a slow monotonous beat. Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump. Peta likened it to a heartbeat. It created a sense of perfect harmony and he found himself slowly sliding into a trance-like state.

Daniel began to sing a four directions song and then added a rattle counter-beat to the drumming. Thump-chicka-thump, thump-chicka-thump went the new beat. Peta hummed it to himself and drummed it with his fingers on the ground beneath him.

Forty-five minutes passed and Eric opened the flap, adding more red-glowing rocks to the pile inside the inipi. Daniel poured water over them again, making the heat more intense. Once more the drum started its slow beat and the rattle followed suit. Peta’s spirit was lifted out of his body and he found himself standing in the center of a prehistoric village of native people, watching as two young boys played a game with their bows and arrows laughing and calling after each other. One was a very handsome boy of around ten or eleven and the other was the same age but his features made him look much older and he had a darkness about him that made him afraid for the other boy.

"Red Hawk," the dark one called to his friend, "have the elders said yet who the medicine man has chosen as his apprentice? I have asked to be considered."

"I did too. But I have heard nothing. My father says that the shaman will not make a decision for another snow yet."

The scene in front of him fast-forwarded to a cold winter day. He was inside a round bark-covered dwelling, watching as the dark one sat alone on the ground striking his flint to make a flame. He was much older now and the years had not been kind to him. He had grown into a man who carried his anger all around him. He was grumbling about the cold and having no woman to care for his fire when something went wrong and his right hand was engulfed in a quick flash of fire burning his hand, turning the flesh black.

He ran off screaming in pain to the cave where the medicine man lived. When he arrived, his old friend Red Hawk stood beside the tribal shaman. Red Hawk had been chosen many winters before and was to replace the medicine man when his years grew too long.

The old shaman looked at the man standing before him and told Red Hawk to treat him.

When the old man refused to be persuaded to change his mind, the dark one ran off into the forest and did not return for many years.

Again the scene fast-forwarded and he saw a young woman bent over the body of her slain husband. He could feel the pain of the woman's loss and tears filled his eyes. Another male strode up and grasped the arm of the young woman, tearing her away from the lifeless form lying on the ground.

"Red Hawk was my best friend; I shall take his wife and care for her!" He then dragged the screaming, crying woman back to his willow bark hut.

The woman kept begging him to release her, she even grabbed the knife from his sheath and tried to stab herself, hoping to join her husband in death.

Snatching the weapon from her, he tossed her carelessly to the ground inside the small enclosure and shouted at her, "I have claimed you for myself! You will be my wife now! Do not try to escape either or you will only wish that you were dead."

The man then marched ceremoniously back to the place where the body of Red Hawk still lay in the grass. The entire village stood around the fallen shaman. He addressed the group, "Red Hawk was a great shaman. I now claim his place among you."

The young woman ran from the hut to where the tribe was assembled. "Please, I beg you, do not let this man claim me! Black Hand was not my husband's friend! He has hated my husband ever since Red Hawk was chosen to study with the shaman!"

Black Hand shouted back at the elders, "It does not matter what the woman thinks. I have claimed her and her husband's property as any warrior of the tribe could have done. I have no woman and I am entitled to her by our laws."

The elders looked down at the sobbing woman as she lay clinging to the body of her dead husband. One of the elders spoke up, "Proud Feathers, you have no family to live with. Your brother is married; there is no one to care for you now. It is our custom that you go with the first male who claims you, as long as he has no other wife to care for."

"You know that this man is cruel and that is why he has no woman! How do we know that he did not kill my husband so that he could claim Red Hawk's medicine bundle? I will not live with this man! You will bury me first!"

That evening, while Black Hand slept, Proud Feathers crept silently from the village and ran off, choosing to live the rest of her years in the caves of a nearby valley, mourning her precious Red Hawk and keeping his sacred medicine bundle safe from Black Hand for all eternity.

Some of the women of the tribe would secretly sneak off and bring her food and animal skins to make into clothing. She vowed to them that she would never reveal the hiding place of Red Hawk's medicine bag.

As he continued watching the end of Proud Feathers life, the distance between them became greater and greater and soon he was again engulfed by the warm darkness of the inipi.

He looked up at his Grandfather and called out for water. Daniel scooped out a cupful and poured it over Peta's head. It was late evening when Daniel and Peta crawled out of the inipi. They stood together as Daniel prayed to the four directions for Peta to have a powerful vision.

White Feather led the way up the back of the butte that the natives referred to as the "sleeping bear" and Peta followed. The moon was almost full and the soft white light illuminated the way for them. As they approached the top, the surface of the Vision Mountain became peppered with small altars, each one the work of a medicine man or a warrior who came to cry for a vision. Each medicine man knew the exact location of his particular questing site. Daniel walked with ease among the sacred spots and Peta was sure to follow him closely.

Daniel suddenly stopped and turned to Peta, "We're here. Can you hear the spirits’ voices? They are strong tonight. You will not have to wait long for a vision."

Peta stood in front of his Grandfather’s altar, it was a space covered with sage that was four feet long and three feet wide, so that no matter what you did you could not get too comfortable. A circle surrounded the altar and four flags with the colors of the four directions stood as silent sentinels guarding the sacredness of the endeavors of those who chose to quest there. Peta had made tobacco ties, four hundred and four of them. He carried them to the site wrapped in a square of red felt. The ties were wound around each other creating a large ball. Daniel and he slowly unwound the ties, wrapping them around the chokecherry branches that held the four-direction flags.

Peta removed his clothes and Daniel handed him a blanket and his own sacred pipe. "Peta, the pipe does not have to be smoked to protect you. Show no fear and allow the spirits to lead you, just pray and the vision will come." Daniel took a bundle of sage and lit it, fanning the smoke around Peta. Peta cupped the smoke in his hands, pulling it over his head. He then took the pipe from his grandfather and stepped into the altar.

Peta wrapped himself in the thin blanket, clutched the pipe to his chest and then squatted down on the cool dark earth and rock.

Peta prayed that the spirits would reveal to him what his path was to be in this lifetime. He began praying aloud to the Great Spirit holding the sacred pipe over his head. It was a cloudy and starless night and the darkness surrounded him, swallowing him completely.

He called out even louder for the vision and sang the ancient warrior songs that his grandfather had taught him. As the hours slipped by, his voice became barely audible. His lips became dry and cracked and his tongue swollen, but still he continued to pray.

Just when he thought his voice had left him and he could sing no longer, a bright hole opened above him and he gazed skyward. The tall warrior that he had seen in Ohio stood once more in front of him motioning for him to follow and Peta’s spirit stepped out of the vision circle and followed the tall one.

"I have something to show you. You have seen one vision of an ancient shaman who was killed for his medicine, there is another who's life you must see and then I will tell you how they fit together. We will journey back to the place where we first met, where your ancestors first lived and built the sacred mounds.”

Peta stood transfixed as the landscape before him changed to a place of green valleys and steep sandstone cliffs. The Warrior pointed to a village in the middle of a system of caves. He watched the birth of a girl child to the great chief, White Eagle. She was born with a cowl over her head and the tribal medicine man gave the young one the name, Flaming Rainbow. He told the tribe that he had seen this young one in a vision and that she would be a shaman, that she would have the power to see into the future.

At the same time, he saw a young male called Gray Wolf, who wanted more than anything to be a medicine man. Gray Wolf was just twelve years old at the time, but he wished to be the next spiritual leader of his people. Peta heard the prayers of Gray Wolf asking the spirits night after night to help him to become a seer like Flaming Rainbow.

As Peta watched the child grow, he saw how Gray Wolf placed herbs in her food and drink and placed a large clear crystal in her bed. He began to steal her visions and relate them to the tribe as his own. When Flaming Rainbow would tell of the vision she just had, it would be exactly as Gray Wolf had said the day before.

As the years passed and she grew into puberty, Gray Wolf's jealousy grew and he became obsessed with killing the young girl.

It was soon after that that Flaming Rainbow had left her father's home and spent much time in a secret cave fasting and praying for her visions to return. She spent many months there. It was late summer when her visions finally returned. In the visions she saw how Gray Wolf had befriended her as a child in order to give her the herbs and crystal that gave her visions to him. She saw how he was consumed with hatred for her and that he wanted her dead. She walked back to the village that night and spoke with her brother, Young Horse. "I have been given my visions back. I saw how Gray Wolf used the crystal and the herbs that he gave me as a child to steal my visions."

"You must tell father of this, and give him this crystal so that he can inform the elders of Gray Wolf's betrayal of the tribe. I will be at the cave of the dove; come for me when it's over. Be sure that no one follows you." She kissed her elder brother and ran off into the night.

Peta stood watching as the young boy spoke to his father telling him of the lies of Gray Wolf. He then ran off to his sister's hiding place with no more than one or two quick glances over his shoulder. Peta watched in horror as Gray Wolf followed the unsuspecting boy to the secret cave.

Young Horse yelled for her and just as she stood up to greet him, an arrow sliced through her, entering her from the back just above her navel. It severed her spine and she struggled to get deeper into the cave.

Her feet collapsed under her and she fell forward, pushing the arrow deeper into her. She screamed out in pain. Then crawling to the sandy ledge at the mouth of her cave, she found herself looking up into the face of Gray Wolf.

Gray Wolf stood above her with a huge rock in his hands. She barely had time to scream out before it came crashing down on her, splitting her skull like a ripe melon. Peta shrieked in horror and closed his eyes, trying to shut out the images that swam before them. The Warrior simply laid his hand on Peta's arm and the scene continued to play itself out on his closed eyelids. His eyes instantly re-opened.

He watched as Young Horse realized that he had led Gray Wolf to his sister and cried out to the heavens for death to take him too.

Gray Wolf stood over Flaming Rainbow's dead body with a sardonic grin on his face. Walking over to the sobbing boy, he bent down, laughing as he told him, "I'm going back to the village now, I'll tell them that you killed her and I saw the whole thing."

Gray Wolf left the sobbing boy and walked back to the village. He went immediately before the council and told them of the horrible crime that he had just witnessed. "Young Horse killed her and he will probably try and accuse me because he knows that I am the only one that can testify against him."

The elders dismissed him and went to speak to the Chief; they did not believe Gray Wolf was speaking the truth. The council decided to send out two parties of scouts to try and find the children of the chief.

Two days later, Gray Wolf watched as they laid her small lifeless body in the center of the village. He had never seen anything look so dead before. It was as though something had taken place so vile that even death could not put it to rest.

Gray Wolf was haunted by the image of her body, it would not leave him. He could neither eat nor sleep. He could not say the prayers for her that he said for the dead.

As her father placed her small body in the burial mound, he cried out to the Creator that the one who did this would take his own life out of shame.

As Gray Wolf stood ashen-faced at the burial site, he found that he could offer no words of condolence to the grief-stricken tribe.

The Chief turned and stared at Gray Wolf. "Wait, Gray Wolf, there is something I want you to have. It's the crystal that you gave my daughter when she was only three years old. I want you to sleep with it, as she did, for as long as you live." The chief extended his hand with the crystal in it. "Don't try and destroy it either, I'll be watching you."

Walking back to his house, Gray Wolf could see Flaming Rainbow dancing in the tall golden grass as she had always done. He looked at the crystal in his hand and realized that all her memories were in there. He would be seeing her life first hand for the rest of his life. How had this happened? He had been a gentle spirit, kind and loving toward all. Except her. He had allowed his ego to destroy him.

Gray Wolf entered his small home and laid the beautiful crystal on the floor in front of him. He tried by every means at his disposal to destroy the crystal, but the spirits would not allow it. Two days later, when the council members came to speak with him, they found Gray Wolf lying on the floor of his house, his body shriveled and decayed as though he had been dead for months.

Peta looked back at the warrior as the scene finally faded in front of him. "Peta, you were both the young shaman and Flaming Rainbow. In both lifetimes the evil one did not want you to come into your power and in both lifetimes one who you trusted as your friend killed you. I am not telling you what your choices will be in this lifetime, but you must prevail this time or all hope for mankind will be destroyed. You must become a warrior; you must be strong and guard your power this time. No one must be allowed to interfere with what you must do in this lifetime. Your medicine is strong again and there are those who will seek to use it for their own gain. The spirit who was both Black Hand and Gray Wolf is here in this lifetime looking for you. If it can destroy you in this lifetime, it will destroy all mankind. You are all that stands between it carrying out its plans."

Peta's mouth hung open. "How am I to save mankind from this spirit? What if I can't do it? What if it kills me again before I even know what I have to do?"

The Warrior looked sadly at the boy. " Remember these words that I say to you now: This exchange between you is the history of all mankind. All is not hopeless, good eventually holds its own over evil. You must however, check it at all turns. For man has forgotten good; man has embraced evil.”

"Peta, you must face each test as you faced me on the cliff! You must step off even though it looks as though you will fall if you do. You must trust that you are more powerful than he! I will be with you, we have much to do before you challenge the evil one."

"Remember Peta, do not fear.......someone will always be sent to help you find the way if you get lost." The Warrior's voice faded and Peta blinked blinded by the sun shining brightly.

"Grandfather," he called out in a voice barely audible. "Grandfather! Come for me! Please come for me!" Tears of exhaustion ran down his cheeks and his legs ached from being cramped in the small enclosure.

"Peta! Peta, I'm here. Keep your eyes closed, the sun will blind you if you try and open them."

Even with his eyes closed, the sun seared its way through his eyelids, forcing more tears to streak their way down his face. He tried to shield them with his arm, but when he tried to raise his hand, it fell limply back to his side. He felt as helpless as a newborn baby. Peta could feel Daniel grab him under the arms and pull him up, but his legs refused to cooperate and he struggled to help his Grandfather, only to end up being a dead weight. Daniel helped him down the mountain and back into the inipi.

Inside the darkness, Peta told Daniel about the two visions. Daniel had seen a lot of what the Warrior had shown the boy and he told Peta that he should not fear this being who had taken his life before.

“The Great Spirit is watching very closely in this lifetime, I can feel it. It will not be an easy decision, but you will know when the time comes what to do. Try not to worry.”

Several hours later, Peta and White Feather crawled out of the inipi. It was nearly sunset and Daniel handed the boy a jar of water and some blueberry wasna. Peta’s hands shook as he raised the container of water to his lips, spilling it down his chest as he drank. He spooned the fruit out of the container with his fingers, licking them with each mouthful. The food was making him sleepy and soon his head was dropping to his chest.

“It’s time to take you home, “ Daniel said and he helped the exhausted boy back to the truck. Before they had left, Daniel had insisted that they place an old thin mattress in the back of Peta's truck. Now Peta saw the wisdom of his grandfather's suggestion as he fell onto it and fell instantly into a deep dreamless sleep.

Daniel drove home and parked the truck beside the cabin. He sat on the porch and kept a watch on the sleeping boy throughout the night. When the morning star made its appearance, Peta awakened and he walked over to the truck.

As Peta stood in the shower allowing the warm water to erase the sweat and mud of the vision quest, he wondered about the journey in this lifetime that the Warrior had alluded to. The two men who had murdered him in those other lifetimes had seemed so bent on his destruction and in trusting them, he had been led like a lamb to the slaughter.

And yet again in this lifetime, he was a gentle and loving man, a compassionate being who had no use for violence or its tenets. What would he do if faced with a choice of killing or being killed? He wasn't sure and that gave him cause for thought. Taking the life of another was to him unconscionable and yet being cast as the helpless victim or worse yet, blind dupe was just as unthinkable. At least in this lifetime the spirits had forewarned him that these spirits were here again and he would have to stop them. What was it that the Warrior had said not to forget.....Peta concentrated hard to remember his exact words. "This exchange between you is the history of all mankind. All is not hopeless, good eventually holds its own over evil. You must however check it at all turns. For man has forgotten good; man has embraced evil."

Well, he thought, I will be ready this time. He will not be able to take me by surprise and I will do whatever is necessary to fight him.

As he reached to turn off the water, he was aware of another presence in the room. He called out, "Is that you, Grandfather?" Pulling back the shower curtain he was confronted by a huge gray wolf with glowing yellow eyes, its razor-sharp teeth bared.

Peta's blood turned to ice as the creature spoke to him in a deep raspy voice, "So this time you think you will win out over me? We will see about that...oh yes, we will."

Peta stood frozen in place staring into the wolf's eyes, one foot still in the tub and the other on the floor just inches from the snout of the beast.

Foul-smelling yellow saliva dripped from the jaws of the grisly apparition and its claws made a clicking sound on the wooden floor as it inched its way forward, finally resting a huge paw on top of Peta's right foot. Peta grit his teeth as the wolf began to sink its claws slowly into his skin. He watched in horror as a small steam of blood trickled onto the floor mixing with the water that dripped off his wet body.

Peta's eyes suddenly turned to fire and he looked up, meeting the creature's gaze once again. "You have no power over me!" he shouted at the beast. "Now leave me and do not return unless you want to see what I am truly capable of doing to you in this lifetime!"

"You did well. He will think twice before he tries that again." Daniel's strong voice brought Peta back to reality.

"Of course I did. Look at your foot...it's still bleeding. You did exactly what you needed to do. Now let me get my medicine pouch. You stay still."

As Peta lowered his gaze and stared at the growing pool of red on the floor, his knees gave way and he had to catch himself on the side of the tub. Sitting down, he inspected the wound; it looked really deep. Grandfather would have to drive him to the clinic for a tetanus shot tonight.

Peta swung around and put the bleeding appendage back in the bathtub and ran cold water on it. "Hand me the antiseptic, I need to clean it out first. I'll bandage it as best I can here, but you're going to have to drive me over to the clinic tonight for a shot. He was really filthy, god only knows what kind of bacteria was in his claws."

Daniel laughed out loud at the word "bacteria" and continued to smile as he shook his head at his grandson.

"You think this is funny? He could have infected me with anything!" Peta was definitely not appreciating Daniel's sense of humor.

"Take it easy...I only meant to show you that you are going about this the wrong way. Watch closely, you are about to learn a valuable lesson." Daniel reached into his medicine pouch. Withdrawing several herbs, he put them in his mouth and chewed them until they became a soft brown paste. Removing the mixture from his mouth, he motioned for Peta to give him his foot.

Peta raised his foot to the side of the tub and White Feather spread the substance around the wound and then shoved the herbs deep into the punctures causing Peta to wince. "Next time he comes, he might not be so nice. So you watch what I'm doing real close, you might be needing this again in the not so distant future." Daniel took a small sage bundle and lit it, fanning the smoke around the injured foot. Then he looked up at Peta and said, "Now you must sing the medicine song I taught you."

Peta began the song that White Feather had taught him as a child and the herbal mixture on his foot began to smolder and soon a dense gray smoke rose from the wound. Peta watched the smoke and sang louder and stronger, for he finally realized that he had allowed the wolf to injure him spiritually and that no amount of the white man's medicines could heal this wound. When the smoke emerging from the wound finally changed from gray to white, he knew that it was a sign that the healing was complete. He stopped singing and breathed a "thank you" to Great Spirit for having his grandfather here to guide him.

Daniel re-lit the sage and fanned it over Peta's head and around his body, cleansing him of any remaining energy from the wolf.

"Now we can rinse off your foot." Daniel spoke softly as he helped Peta turn around again and gently eased his foot back into the tub. Turning on the water, he sat down beside the boy and washed the herbs off. Peta's foot was completely healed.

"Peta, remember all I have taught you about our ways of healing. The white man's pills will not work in your life anymore. You must return to the ways of our ancestors if you are to stay alive. A wound as small as that could have killed you. You would have gone to the white doctors and they would have given you shots and little pills and told you to rest and you would have been dead before the sun rose."

It was the same lesson all over again. He had underestimated his opponent's power and if his grandfather hadn't stepped in, he would be dead.

"I feel so stupid. I guess I wasn't ready for a test like that so soon. The warrior that I met back east came to me in my vision, Grandfather, and he showed me how I was murdered by people that I trusted. He told me that the same spirit is here in this lifetime and if I failed to stop it, it would not only kill me, but that the hope of all mankind would be destroyed."

Peta took a deep breath, lowered his gaze and then continued slowly, "I almost let him kill me....I wasn't ready at all.....I wasn't ready at all. I am not the person that the Warrior thinks I am. How can this be any different than the other lifetimes....he warned me and still I just stood there and let the wolf injure me."

Peta's eyes misted over as he looked back up at his grandfather. "Help me, Grandfather. Show me what to do."

"Peta, you have all the power. Your belief that he had real power gave him the energy to do physical harm to you. Know that the other realms exist and that they know who you are now, for you crossed over in your vision quest. They will try and trick you like the iktomi and you must be on your guard and never give them your energy. The only power he holds over you is the power of your fears. Show him no fear and he will have no choice other than to disappear."

"Peta, the evil in men exists because they believe that they are separate from their God. We know that we are one with all the creatures and trees and even the stone people. We know that Great Spirit lives in us and everything that we see. But even all of our people do not believe as you and I do. The men who believe in evil do horrible things and they do so because they believe that mankind is inherently bad. When the Black Robes came here and taught our people about the white man's God, they told us that man was born in sin, that merely coming into this world was evil. Is it any wonder that the men who believe in this God can murder and hate without any sense of wrongdoing? Their Jesus tried to teach them about love and compassion and they even killed him. They did not want to listen to him and they did not listen to us and now they will have to destroy themselves and everything that they worship...their cities and their banks.. all the monuments to their greed... before they will realize that they are really spiritual beings."

"As for you, do not worry, the spirits will not allow you to die needlessly. This was a lesson, nothing more. Now why don't we have something to eat? It is getting late and I am very tired." Daniel packed up his medicine pouch and walked slowly from the bathroom.

Peta was suddenly struck by the image of how fragile his grandfather looked. He tried to push the image from his mind, but it kept popping back up making him feel a growing concern for Daniel's well being.

The days rolled into weeks and Peta's life slowed into a steady routine of long talks with grandfather in the evenings and days spent working on much-needed repairs to the house.

Peta had been out picking sage all morning. It was a beautiful sunny day and as he approached the house, Daniel called out to him, "I'm going into the main village for some supplies. Want to come along?"

"Let me hang the sage on the porch and I'll be right there. Let's take my truck, I want to get some boards to patch the leak in the roof while the weather is still good."

Grandfather was telling him about the recent shootings at the main village, that no one could figure it out. Two men had been shot just last week. Peta could feel Daniel's sense of loss and hopelessness.

"Where does all the hatred come from? It's like a poison passed from generation to generation that kills everything it comes into contact with."

Daniel's voice was lost amid the noise of the engine and the wind roaring in through the open windows, but his words echoed through Peta's spirit.

The pickup pulled up in front of the reservation trading post. As Daniel stopped to chat with an old friend, Peta went inside. Walking to the back corner where they kept the building supplies, he rummaged through the meager scraps of board for one that